Yes, Low Voices

This is a real thing. REAL.

Every once in a while, my tv will change the pitch of everyone’s voices, making them much much lower. It makes the females sound like men and the men sound like a cross between horrifying monsters from hell muttering damnation in the form of “That’s what she said” jokes (I’m watching The Office at the moment) and the villain in Scream. Ads sound the devil trying to get you to sell your soul for consumer goods and you scream at the television, “No, I will not buy a Toyota from you, Satan! I don’t care what kind of once-in-a-lifetime deals you’re offering today!” Oh, now it’s switched over to Seinfeld and the studio audience laughing sounds like waves crashing on the banks of the river Styx. HORRIFYING. Some low-voice-related tunes for you:

I don’t remember where I got this song, but the lower-voiced Michael Scott reminded me of it. It’s the Notorious BIG song “Hypnotize” as sung by voice software. Both charming and disconcerting all at once:

Original Hamster – Notorious DSP

And here’s comedian Patton Oswalt talking about a similar experience with his Alvin and the Chipmunks records. Yes, I know I’ve posted this bit before, but it’s always worth another listen:

Patton Oswalt – My Christmas Memory (Buy It)

Also, I remember a time way back, when our pals Stabmaster Arson and Professor Murder arrived at an interesting conclusion: That if you slowed that incredibly silly song “Pull Over” by Trina down a little bit, it sounded very much like a man rapping, edging into the creepy/hilarious range. They also discovered that speeding up male voices do not make them sound like women. Just chipmunks. Here is the absurd original:

Trina – Pull Over (Buy It)

I actually just finished a pretty good book John Dies at the End, which features demons trying to communicate with the main character through his tv. My life is now a horror novel.

posted by Adam

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One response to “Yes, Low Voices

  1. JDATE, what up!

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