Charlotte and Adam Discuss: Kiefer, Models and Grocery Theft

Owww, my head!

Owww, my head!

Charlotte: Do you know why Kiefer Sutherland headbutted a fashion designer over Brooke Shields? That happened in your city . .

Adam: I know. All newspapers everywhere are going crazy about it.

Charlotte: Do we have any answers?

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Adam: No, I haven’t actually read any of the articles.
I assume that the guy said something like, “Hey Brooke Shields, that sitcom you were on where you played a magazine writer was not great!”
And Kiefer heard it.
And he really liked that show. Thought it was underrated.
And wanted to hit the guy, but was carrying groceries, so didn’t have either hand free.
So he used his head to do it.
And then was like, “Hey Brooke Shields, that was the one with Judd Nelson on it right? I thought that show was good. Ignore what that guy said.
“Do you want some zucchini? I just bought a bunch and will probably have enough for two. Otherwise it’ll just be leftovers and it’ll just sit in my fridge until I have to throw it out.
“I’m always doing that, buying too much of something and then having to throw it out later. Do you do that too Brooke Shields?”
And then Brooke Shields is like, “You broke that guy’s nose.”

Charlotte: Haha. Question: Why did he have groceries at the Met’s Costume Gala? That’s the only hole in this otherwise completely true story . .

Adam: He didn’t have time to stop home.
He was just going to leave them at the coat-check.

Charlotte: Just some zuchs, some cukes, thinking about a stir fry later.
Unless he decides to break a face with his own face!

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Adam: He wasn’t planning on a fight, but he wasn’t about to back down from it just because of holding groceries.
Why didn’t he just put them down, you might ask?
Because models are grabby.
They will steal anything that isn’t nailed down.

Charlotte: This is fact.
Dirty, thieving fashion models.

Adam: Especially vegetables. And they’ll just throw them away. They just love the thrill of theft so much!
Kiefer knows this.

Charlotte: He’s dealt with them and their ways before.
But I’m glad he was defending “Suddenly Susan.” That was almost Judd’s comeback vehicle!

Adam: “Suddenly Susan”! That was the name of it.

Charlotte: Great name, great show.

Adam: It had Kathy Griffin and the guy from “Batman” and “Lost” who looks like he’s wearing eye shadow all the time.

Charlotte: I KNOW RIGHT!!!!
And I thought the same thing then – what’s with the liner?

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Adam: I saw somewhere that it’s just his eyes for real.

Charlotte: I don’t think you can fake that. It’s like Angelina Jolie’s lips – they are the first thing anyone sees, if they’re fake you may as well fess up because you took up a career where people look at you.

Adam: You are stupid if you didn’t realize people would notice.

Charlotte: They will probably ask questions!
Or at least that one, first question.

Adam: Haha. Just like if you headbutt a dude, people might ask you why you did that.

posted by Charlotte and Adam


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