Charlotte and Adam Discuss: In Which We Discover that Cyndi Lauper is God and Prince is Christ

Charlotte: Maybe this is just college withdrawal, but lately I’ve been wanting to write an analytical paper.

Adam: At Thanksgiving, we were talking about writing papers, and I started to pine a little, I’ll admit.
Did I ever brag to you about the title of my IR theory paper?

Charlotte: Nope, let’s hear it.

Adam: For the final paper in ‘Theories of International Relations’ we had to choose one theory and explain a historical event with that theory. But we had also studied Feminist Critical Theory, and we had the option of choosing that and examining another theory through it. Which is what I chose to do, since it seemed like it would be more fun than the alternative. So I critiqued an essay called ‘The Fungibility of Power’ through the feminist perspective, and titled my paper ‘Girls Just Wanna Have Fungibility.’ ZING

I’m surprised the building you were in didn’t explode with the power of that zing.

Adam: That was the last paper i wrote in college.

Charlotte: Went out with a zing.

Adam: Hahaha. The professor like it a lot. Not the paper as much as the title.
One other person in the class did the feminist perspective, and she was the only other person to use a joke title.

Charlotte: Feminists are hilarious. Everyone knows this.

Adam: Known for their ribald senses of humor.

Charlotte: And zinging abilities. This would be obvious to anyone who really thought about burning bras.

Adam: I, of course, had ‘Girls Just Wanna Have Fun’ stuck in my head the entire time I was writing the paper.

Charlotte: Did this help or hinder the process?

Adam: Haha, probably hindered. Though maybe it helped. I did graduate college.

Charlotte: All thanks to Cyndi Lauper.
Well, maybe not “all.”

Adam: Haha, who knows. She and her colorful hair works in mysterious ways.

Charlotte: She helped the Goonies.

Adam: Wouldn’t that be a profound disappointment? If you died and wound up at the gates of heaven only to find that all this time, Cyndi Lauper was God?

Charlotte: Hahahaha.
I don’t know if I would be disappointed to have a god that wrote a song about female masturbation. I think pleasantly surprised?

Adam: Haha, by that criteria, maybe Prince is Jesus.

Charlotte: Hahahahahahahhaahhahaaha.
He has reached many people. I don’t know if he’s saved anyone with his phallic guitar, but I wouldn’t be surprised! All of his disciples are named Pearl, and Ruby, and Appollonia. . .

Adam: And just like Jesus, he rides a giant purple motorcycle!

Charlotte: You’d think he’d have a better cover name than “Prince.” Or maybe that’s the genius of it.

Adam: Prince is Jesus. That’s WHY he’s named Prince! Short for ‘Prince of Peace.’

Charlotte: Prince said unto his disciples, “Take and eat, for this is my funk, given unto you.” You know, you’d think we all would have figured this out by now.

Adam: It’s been right there in front of us all this time:
The name, the motorcycle, the sick guitar chops…

Charlotte: The relentless funk, the resilience, the ability to write a hit song without any bass. . .
Although his latest album. . . not so good. For the son of God, anyway.

Adam: Christ was tempted in the desert. With not so great chord changes…

Charlotte: Hahahaha. And dumb lyrics.
I’m glad we got to the bottom of this. I’m gonna have to rethink Christmas a little bit.

Adam: Make your presents a little bit funkier?

Charlotte: My tree is gonna be decked out in crushed purple velvet

Adam: Hahahahahaha

Charlotte: Yes.
I will wear a frilly blouse, just as Prince does. And eye liner.

Adam: Go with Cyndi Lauper, my child.

Charlotte: I don’t have enough bleach. Or tutus.

Prince & The Revolution – Darling Nikki (Buy It)

Prince – The Cross (Buy It)

Prince – Chelsea Rodgers (Buy It)

posted by Adam and Charlotte


3 responses to “Charlotte and Adam Discuss: In Which We Discover that Cyndi Lauper is God and Prince is Christ

  1. I read this as I work on my senior thesis and other papers. Do you really miss it? Do you? Either way, I’m pretty sure the laughter has woken me up enough to bang out a few more pages before I crash. Thank you thank you.

    PS- Happy Hannukah, Adam!

  2. Honest Injun’ I miss it, and I can only assume that Charlotte wasn’t lying to me through gchat (which would be unforgivable). Good luck on finals, and if I knew how to say ‘thank you’ in Hebrew, I’d say it here.

  3. Adam – it’s Todah Rabah.

    you’re welcome.

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